Perhaps a pretty picture will make me feel better.
So like usual, I am late to an idea. This weekend I have been wallowing in green guilt, letting it wrap around me so I can sulk and feel overwhelmed by it. But my favorite new blog, Scream to Be Green, beat me to the punch! Always late...
Seriously though. I am totally overwhelmed with the prospect of my environmental decisions, and the guilt I feel that is beginning to become overwhelming.
A small sampling of my latest thoughts:
Sushi. Yes, we live within 100 miles of the San Francisco bay (does that even matter?), but most likely the fish we eat is either overharvested or farmed.
I've begun paying attention to what's in my personal products - you know - the shampoos, conditioners, makeup...etc. OMG. My mascara has every bad chemical you're supposed to avoid. We know better when it comes to our food, but now I'm terrified about what's in everything else. And all the plastic in our house! Yikes. Sigh. Yikes.
Bamboo clothing seems like a good alternative, until you realize the bamboo fibers have to take a chemical bath to get them to be soft enough to weave as clothing. Organic cotton doesn't grow in these parts, so it has to take a trip across the country to get into my little paws.
We watched the Story of Stuff last night (I've been avoiding it kinda, but have seen the link countless times from folks like you!), and want so desperately to be able to make a difference. But I just don't know that we can.
Did you know that when they survey the cord blood of newborns, it contains 200+ man made synthetic chemicals like parabens and other horrible nasties? Reminds me of the food chain part of Story of Stuff. Breast milk. Being a woman of reproductive age, this is a terrifying reminder of how (and please excuse the language I'm about to use, I swear like a trucker in my "real life" but try to keep it off my blog as much as possible) fucked up our country is. Royally. Our priorities are so skewed towards greed that it makes me want to give up.
Chris: "You're being over dramatic again."
Today I started reading The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan (and it's about time I did!), and that certainly hasn't helped the guilt part. And now I understand why y'all came out of the woodwork to let me know "certified organic" is a load of bull shit! Wow. I am so glad we're going to produce our own fruits and vegetables, but meat? That's another battle we now need to fight.
I'm frustrated because I live in a culture where I can't opt out. I am a part of the consumption process whether I like to be or not. I can't opt out. I can do as much as I want, but I'm still at the mercy of big business and the consumption process and our terrible government policies that protect consumption as our way of life.
I don't feel like what I'm doing is pointless (yet), and I certainly hope I never get to that point either. We need lots of good people to "fight the good" fight, but at what point did our country lose the mentality of "government of the people, by the people, for the people" ???
Makes me want to do more. At least I think it does.
Jan 20, 2008
Green Guilt
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13 comments:
Good post! Reading 'The Omnivore's Dilemma' is an eye-opener. I haven't finished it yet - fascinating, but I can only take so much of it at a time.
Making intelligent choices isn't as easy as we think. Just when we get all pleased with ourselves for doing something that we think is environmentally beneficial, then we find out that it far from such. But, hey, we have to start somewhere.
I totally sympathize with you on this one. Like you say, its not really possible to completely opt out and I think its a mistake to try to do so. The solution can only be to distance one's self from the terrible elements of our culture (by growing your own food, tending toward the homemade and re-use wherever possible) and finding like-minded people to build a sharing community with. Combine that with political action and a realization that changes will take a really long time (maybe longer than our lifetimes) and just try really hard everyday. People are the problem and people can be the solution. Culture can shift.
This is a compelling and thoughtful post, and I understand your green guilt. However, I would say to you that in part, we're missing the boat here by taking on all the green guilt and being dictated to by the econazis of the bureaucratic kind; the sort that make up new fees and regulations that smack ordinary citizens in the head on a regular basis. Meanwhile, are they going after the big offenders: power companies, other multnational corporations, the kind that move to the maquiladora of Mexico so they can reap more hideous profits for shareholders on the backs of human suffering? Hell, no! Most of them aren't, anyway. Ditto the politicians.
I would say to every single person; if you're concerned about the environment, one thing that is critical to do is VOTE during elections. It's time we started taking back democracy and holding the fools that get elected to power more accountable, and make them do more to help with both the problems, and the solution. Like Ryan says, culture can shift, and that's one way we can help with the shift. Especially if more of our intelligent, articulate and concerned young people (I mean anyone under 45, in this case!) get involved in politics with an intent to change the agendas from greed to green.
Okay, falling off my soapbox now to go to bed!
I have been reading Affluenza (as part of Crunchy Chicken's book club) and have been feeling the same guilt. It's so overwhelming.
I am hopeful though that with the advent of the internet and blogs, things will change. I was really never into environmental things before I started reading all these blogs, which led me to read books about it and find more info online. Now I'm seriously wanting to buy my own farm (I grew up on a farm, but have since made my way to the city), grow most of my own food, including gardening and raising animals, and make/do as much myself as possible.
This may sound awful, but I really hope that we hit Peak Oil soon. I think it is the one big thing that can/will force us Americans to change our consumeristic, selfish ways.
I'm the mom of two young children, so my hope is that I can educate them to be more mindful and less consumeristic. Hopefully they will educate others as they grow up in this world.
Don't give up. Keep making changes in your own life and continue to blog about them. I really think these blogs can be a powerful tool. I have my own family blog right now, but I think I'm going to start a seperate green blog.
~Mel
Have you checked out Vegan Dad?
http://vegandad.blogspot.com/
He has no-nonsense, kid-pleasing recipes. If you go part vegetarian/vegan it's better for the Earth (and you) than staying carnivorous. I know, it's not easy, but I do believe baby steps help.
Katie, I think the key is to recognize that you have not made perfect choices in the past, you are not making perfect choices now, and you are unlikely to make perfect choices in the future. Nobody is perfect! Get past the guilt and start making changes as things come to your attention.
Sushi makes you feel guilty about the fish? Well, learn to make veggie sushi. It's still very tasty and satisfying.
Your make-up is toxic? Choose make-up made by better companies from your natural food store. Can't tell you which ones to choose because I go for option #2: don't wear make-up at all. :)
While I worry about how clothes are made, I feel less guilt about it because I buy mostly used clothes. The damage was done already, the clothes were made and originally purchased by someone else, and my purchase of them used keeps them out of the landfill. Not perfect, but it works for me.
It's easy to get caught up in the negatives and the guilt rather than looking at where we can take action. One step at a time ends up taking us to a new place. Best wishes for a great journey!
Katie -
Thanks for the shout-out! I appreciate it. Green guilt is a bitch, right? Let me tell you something, too - reading books like Affluenza and The Omnivore's Dilemma is just going to make it worse :-) I'm not discounting those books at all - my point being that the more knowledge you have - the more depressing it can become. You really learn how f'd up everything is. As my wife pointed out - the more depressing part is that most people in society don't seem to give a shit. They fill their kids with juice boxes and HFCS. They buy bottled water by the truck load. I could go on and on - anyway...
THanks again!
-Jason
http://www.screamtobegreen.com
Kate - once I got through the "Corn" part of the book, it opens into a beautifully written, nature-appreciating wonderful book. Keep slogging and you'll get to the heart of the message that lies within. But you're right, we have to start somewhere.
ryan-pants - thanks for stopping by (and the link!). You're right - by design we can't opt out. Read a little longer and you'll locate my pining for like-minded folks in my area that I can't seem to find (short of posting a "will you be my friend" community seeking request on Craigslist, not sure how to go about this. Any suggestions?) The world won't change overnight, but with our help and motivation, we can make a difference. I hope!
Jodi - I can say I have voted in every election possible since I have been of voting age...got that one covered! But you're right - to listen to the econazis would to bedrudge all of the work we have already done, and the progress we are making. Thanks for the wake up call! PS - A little secret I keep is that I work in the California electricity industry and it is VERY interesting to see what is happening right now, and makes me feel justified in saying that things are changing, at least on the electricity front. But we still have a long way to go.
Mel - I'm glad that by finding Crunchy Chicken the world of these awesome blogs has opened up to you and made you rethink what you're doing with your life (and your children's upbringing). Kudos to you! Please keep me updated when you start your blog - my email is on my main page!
Anna Banana - I have gone vegetarian once in my life, and I don't think that is a road I'm going to follow. However, wise consumption is the rule in our house, and we don't eat a lot of meat (am I justifying it here? I dunno!). But thanks for the link - some of the recipes look awesome! I will have to add this one to my Google Reader...along with yours! Thanks for the info.
Chile - thanks for the no brainers! I'm not a super makeup girl, but feel the need to wear it to work. I give you full credit for turning me on to Goodwill - I adore that place! And clothing is the next purchase there for me... Thanks for your constant support and everything else you provide me and your other loyal readers!
Jason - I think Affluenza and The Omnivore's Dilemma raise within me powerful feelings of wanting to opt out, but if I can't fully do so, at least look at what I'm doing and improve my life in the ways I can. I'm all for flinging myself against the hard decisions in life, because I think we all benefit from soul searching (and being in my mid-20s, isn't that the point of my life right now?! Hahaha!). Thanks for the wonderful blog and ideas!
And thanks to all of you for bringing me out of that stupid funk I was in yesterday. I appreciate each and every one of you! Bloggers rule!
Katie: Baby steps, baby steps...keep smilin'!
Layanee - thanks for the kind words! I'm already feeling much much better!
Let me relieve you of just a little bit guilt in you life right now: you don’t have to respond to this email. Just know that even posts like this important; they remind people like me why it is so important to reduce everything we consume in life. Over-consumption leads to so many problems in life from the personal (my fat butt, empty bank account and cluttered house) to the global (pollution and reliance on foreign countries.) It almost doesn’t matter what is consumed, too much of it is just bad. It is also refreshing to hear that you aren’t perfect and how difficult it is to be responsible. Ultimately it is the little, seemingly unimportant changes we make in our lives that will change the world.
Thanks Anna Banana for the site! Looks good!
I've been thinking about this post for a couple days, which is pretty cool because I have a tiny attention span. The bad news is that my reaction has gotten kind of long. Sorry!
It is really easy to get overwhelmed. For example, every time I talk to my dad about, say global warming, or the political situation in Pakistan, he says he's glad he won't live that much longer so he won't have to deal with the (potentially literal) fallout of these situations. Which is natural, but also ridiculous. He doesn't really want to die soon just to avoid global warming.
All we can do as individuals is try to educate ourselves about these problems and then avoid contributing to them. But we still live in America. For example, I can easily take the bus to work, which takes about an hour each way. Or I can drive: 15 minutes. Guess what I choose.
Do I feel guilty? Hell, no! One and a half hours every day is worth a shitload of carbon! (I do, however, agitate to make my transit agency slightly less stupid). In other words, it's more important and effective to improve the system than to think you will make a real difference with individual choices.
It is important to really educate yourself, and not just freak out about everything and flail around. Just to pick on anonymous for a second: what do you think would happen if all of us city-dwelling wage slaves moved back to the land and tried to grow our own food? 1. whatever wilderness is left would instantly vanish, with catastrophic effects on biodiversity; 2. everyone would starve, because food production would become dramatically less efficient; 3. the scenario's impossible, there's not enough land anyway.
Cities, and the division of labor, have existed for 5000 years for a reason. Even if we could get rid of them, the cure would be worse than the disease. The point is to get rid of the absurd excesses in the system and make it smarter and better.
One more thing: what if organic agriculture is less sustainable than agribusiness? I hate to even suggest such a thing, but on a global level, it might be true (no one really knows, because they're too busy researching less important things). When you're done with Pollan, check this book out.
Great post and no need to worry for your frustration or use of words. It's nice to see some enthusiasm concerning "Economic Bondage in which we live in. It will help with the changes that we need. I found your site by doing a search for bamboo clothing. I myself, am looking to move away from being a consumer as much as possible and trying to find ways to make most of what I need, like clothing. But the "process" for so many of these things we need is not worth the effort it takes to make. So, buying bamboo clothing is easier than the process it takes to make it ourselves. But, that still leaves us in "economic bondage". I have done research on many things a person would need to be more "self reliant" and for me, i found out to do with less is actually more. I am looking for some land to grow a very large vegetable and herb garden, bamboo, sweetgrass, etc. and to grow enough for my own needs and whoever else is there with me and then give the surplus away freely to those in need. My point is... just to do the very basics of this venture, it takes quite abit from the consumer world just to make it happen. So somewhere in there, there is a fine line of being a consumer but in smaller proprtions. And hopefully that is a good thing.
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