Thanks to everyone who left a comment on yesterday's post. This week, I'm digging deep and really thinking about things in my life - and often the ideas have little to do with one another, they just sort of ramble. Thanks for following along.
Gardening will commence soon, I promise. If you can't wait - I've posted pictures on Flickr that will soon turn into posts...
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Monday morning I had some time to burn at work because after the Daylight Savings Time shift, we run our computer application manually and it takes about an hour and a half (our reports/data usually runs at 1am when we’re all at home, sleeping presumably). So I was reading from the beginning of the No Impact Man blog started in Feb, 2007 (I've only subscribed for a few weeks) and it gives me hope. Change can be made, and Colin and his family are living proof that one can nearly opt-out of our society, without totally opting out.
I should note, like Colin and family, I’m not writing this blog to try to convince anyone to do anything or make changes to their lives (unless I specifically mention it). Chris and I are writing this for us, and like NIM, sharing our story because we think it’s pretty fun and interesting.
But the NIM blog is doing something else for me as well: making me slow down and think.
Sunday night I was doing dishes, which Chris and I both dread. (Whoever cooks doesn’t have to do them, and in our house, that usually means Chris gets off scott-free. And then I leave them there in the sink for a couple days, and then we argue and I do them. The cycle continues.) I was really taking the time to wash our beautiful pans that can’t go in the dishwasher when I thought:
“I want to make sure I take good care of the items I have now, so they last a really long time.”
After that thought, doing dishes wasn’t so bad as I examined each item and the story of how it came to be in our possession. It’s not just stuff, it’s the items we love and give us joy through our interaction with them (ie. cooking). But at the end of the day, they’re still items, but they remind me of positive moments in our life. And washing dishes is often a little bit rhythmic and meditative. (Shh - don't tell Chris!)
Whatifs
We often wonder what would have happened if Chris and I didn’t move to the house we’re in now. Sometimes at night, we lay in bed and it comes up.
“Imagine what we could have done with the backyard at the old place.”
“Yeah, we could have had so much space for raised beds.”
“And a nice patio, and ….”
“Yeah, I know. But we live here now.”
“Are you regretful that we moved?”
“Not really. Except the yard at the old place…. If we could have had that here, that would have been perfect.”
OLD
NEW
We used to live in a neighborhood nearer Sacramento in the County. Our lot was a little smaller, as was the house at 1260 ft2, but the backyard is something I now think we could have made something amazing out of, with a little work. The front yard was very small and close to the street (no wasted space!), but the backyard was huge for the neighborhood’s standards (and I think bigger than ours now). But my biggest pet peeve was the ghetto neighbors on all sides (and the noise. It was always noisy there!), as well as the unsafe feeling I dealt with from time to time. Fast forward to 2006 and we decided after toying with the idea for months to move to where we are now, we pulled the trigger, and sold our old house just in time. Now we live in a suburban community about 20 miles up the hill, closer to Chris’ job, and soon after the move, mine too.
But we can’t shake a sense of regret somehow. It’s not just yard regret. It’s the possibility that we could have been a little more patient, stayed in the old house, ridden out the current real estate market storm, saved a gob ton of money in the process, paid off the old house, done what we want with our savings, purchased a farm and retired early? Slippery slope, I know, but you gotta wonder, what if?
Rose colored glasses, hindsight is 20/20. Yeah, I know, I know.
But really - what if we hadn’t moved? How would our life be different? I’ve mentioned that people who say they have to work or else they’d get bored – I totally don’t get that! I would love to not have to work, or conversely, have the option to spend my time in the ways I please, and I don’t mean sitting on my laurels in the backyard with some sun tea…
I've had a difficult time concentrating at work lately. Perhaps it's the spring weather. I really enjoy what I do and consider it a fundamental job that adds value to our community (do you use electricity? I thought so.). But if I could...
I would get my master gardener training and offer my services as a volunteer. I would volunteer my time for environmental causes. Start a grassroots campaign. Meet people. Shake down the old ladies' garden club. I would have time to ride my bike, walk, or jog during my lunchtime as I see people doing now. I could take that yoga class at my gym that is held in the morning. Chris and I could spend time together, as well as apart, pursuing our hobbies and passions. I could pursue a hobby of woodworking and making beautiful things from reclaimed wood. I love to write - a book perhaps? I don’t know exactly, but I write just how I talk (minus a few swear words that are remnants of a bad habit I can’t quite get rid of).
But alas, many years of working lay ahead of me, and that's ok. I have an end goal in mind and that keeps me going!
With that in mind, my favorite quote ever is:
"If you win the rat race, you're still a rat."
I’m not one to work for more acquirements of things, but at this point in my life, I am working for my mortgage and house. But I'm not asking for a bigger house, more expensive car, or clothes and stuff to fill my house with. I’m asking to live simply, but because of our choices in the last couple years, I’m not at liberty to do so just yet. Remnants of a previous consumer lifestyle...
Patience, grasshopper.
My idea of a perfect day:
Get up early and have a nice cup of coffee and breakfast with Chris before sunrise
Spend the day volunteering, working on hobbies, spending time with people
Making dinner from local organic ingredients, sharing with friends, family, people
Play games with said folks
Read good books from the library
Sleep
Someday, maybe.
