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I'm still trying to get my bearings. I feel strangely overwhelmed in that I feel so dreadfully obligated.
I subscribe to wayyy too many blogs.
Follow wayy too many people on Twitter.
Say yes to too many things. (But I always say yes please.)
The other day I decided to edit my life. Simplify. I like to think that I don't have that much material stuff (although folks who've seen my messy garage might disagree), so I'm not overwhelmed with stuff.
I'm overwhelmed with saying yes.
See, the benefit to social media is how it connects and links you with the most amazing people like what I experienced the other night. The dreadful side of it is that there are so many good people out there you'll end up killing yourself just trying to follow them all, or in my case, simply keep up.
You know that A&E show Obsessed? (I didn't either until we got cable again 2 weeks ago after going without for the last 2 years. OMG magic. It's like Intervention's little brother.) The one I saw last night was a dude's home that was just full of stuff and his therapist worked with him to be ok with throwing things away. People, this is how I feel about your blogs and tweets. I can't bear to part with them, so I just keep adding more and more and more! Don't even get me started about the necessary evil that is Facebook...
Recently I unsubscribed from a few feeds on a whim. Then unfollowed a couple twitterers (they won't miss 1 follower of 2,600, will they?). I felt ok. The world didn't end. I did some more unfollowing/unsubscribing. I felt even better. I said no to my coworkers about something. I declined something I had originally said yes to. That sucked. It didn't feel good but the world didn't crash in around me. I can't be a doormat and please everyone all the time.
Point is that I'm losing myself. Saying yes to too many things and people. In theory it's not a bad thing, but I need time for myself. I feel like I'm sitting at my desk on Fridays counting down to the 5pm whistle only to snap my fingers and feel like I never went home, it's now Monday, and hey how did I get into these Monday clothes? (You don't have Monday clothes?) Wasn't it just Friday? How did I spend my weekend and where did it go?
So if I stop following you or your blog, please know it's nothing personal. I just need my time back.
Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.
-Carl Sandburg
14 comments:
Now's the time to do this. It only gets worse as time goes on.
Not sure if it helps, but I limit my blog reading. I might only read your blog twice a week versus the 4times I used to, especially in the summer I want my time.
Congratulations on doing the right thing. It's such a hard lesson to learn. I said yes to everything/everyone in my 20's and felt horrible most of the time.
If you stop following my blog, it won't hurt my feelings one bit. This from a woman who has kicked the "yes" bucket.
Enjoy your moments of empowerment. They get better with age. I promise.
I have not signed up for Twitter or Facebook for this EXACT reason. I know that the minute I sign up, I would become THAT person. You know, the person that is constantly checking/updating status or reading/replying to tweets. And, you know, I don't want to be that person.
I do feel like I am missing out on some things by not joining these sites, and more than a few of my friends have flat out told me that I am missing out on their lives.
Good for you for taking some of your time back.
Good for you! In my mind, it's partly about quality vs. quantity. (Of course I don't even have a TV, so never mind. I watch the Towhees instead....unless I'm at work and sitting in front of a computer ;->)
Enjoy the discovery of what brings you joy ;->
Lack of time is one reason I refuse to participate in Twitter or Facebook. I used to carefully keep up with all the blogs I enjoy reading and I'd feel guilty if I got behind. Then as I got further and further behind, I realized that it was okay. The world kept going even if I didn't know everything going on in these bloggers' worlds.
I wish there was time to keep up with everyone but there isn't. Now I sporadically pop in and out, leave a comment or two, and move on. I'm finding it's leaving me with more time - less frantic time - to do some of the (like it or not) more important things in my life: gardening, canning, making meals from scratch, riding my bike instead of driving, playing with and training my dogs, and having relaxation time that's just for me.
Don't feel guilty, Katie. Live your life to the best of your ability and enjoy it!
Good for you. I know you are right, and I know I need to take the same hard steps.
This seems strange, but I guess I'll start by unsubscribing from gardenpunks in solidarity. That's like thanking someone for speaking the truth by ceasing to listen to them, but the internet is a strange place...
Have fun with your reclaimed time! I will to.
Ugh...commitments. I say yes to mostly every invitation, and end up resenting the person who invited me. It's a terrible side effect of friendship and family.
I have been reading blogs less often (and posting even less than that!,) and continue to turn down Facebook and Twitter. Lately I haven't even had time to turn on my computer when I get home.
But these things come and go, and kind of self-level with time.
And ultimately, the relationships we share are one of the best things about living.
TSannie - That's what I keep hearing. Glad to know I might be ahead of this awful curve I feel coming up.
Allison - I'm going to have to do the same with my blog reading. I do enjoy your videos of barfing girls though....
Ceecee - I've said before, you blog is one of my favorites and brings a smile to my face to see you've posted an update. That's what we all need. Thanks for the kind words.
Lisa - Both websites have their pros and cons. I didn't tweet today and I kept finding moments where I would...it was strangely satisfying to be out of the loop.
Town Mouse - Yes, quantity vs. quality. Great point! We would only watch Oakland A's games, but then we got cable to watch them when our HD feed got shut off. I turn the TV on Mondays for Intervention. How I love thee.
Chile - Thanks for giving me some perspective. I really appreciate it right now.
Mike - Exactly! I don't want those things I enjoy to turn into things I hate, and I see it happening. Freaking me out! Maybe if all of us just posted less often, we could all read more! :D
Right on Katie! I absolutely agree, and have dramatically cut down on the time I spend online. Spring Fling was the impetus for that, for a number of reasons.
I'm still learning to say no in real life, and menopause seems to be hastening that learning. Kudos to you for taking your life back and learning to say no, both in virtual and real life! You're a wise young woman figuring this out early.
Katie,
Press the unsubscribe button (even if it's my blog)!!! NOW!
garden girl - Ah, don't "ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM" (Google it!). I had so much fun at Spring Fling, thanks for making the trip absolutely worth it! Those relationships I made there will last for a long time. :D Ours included!
Krissi - Are you kidding?? I actually clicked on your link to subscribe! Before I would wait for you to link to your most current post on Twitter, but seeing as I don't spend as much time there the last few days, this way is much better. Sorry I hadn't done it sooner.
I'm so not going to go there since it will probably only make me sound bitter, but good for you doing what is right for you.
-MrBrownThumb
I know exactly where you're coming from, Katie! I am caught in that cycle, too... you're right: I need to reclaim some of my time for myself. (Now if only I had time to unfollow and unsubscribe too all those blogs and tweets!)
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