Last week I read The Wishing Year by Noelle Oxenhandler. Over the last week I've looked at myself and life in a different way, and with the help of my amazing friends (and therapist), am figuring out that I always wait for the other shoe to drop. Because it always does.
Going through life waiting for something bad to happen is like inviting that negative energy into your life. Here, I have a seat for you at the table. Make yourself comfortable. I made plans back in 2002 that saved my ass last year (Thanks to my ∆∏∑ brothers and friends - those people I can call in the middle of the night and KNOW they will be there, no matter what. Do you have those people in your life?) because I knew even back then that forever doesn't mean forever. I always have a "Plan B" I guess, blame that on my Risk Management degree/background. But what would happen if you put out good, positive energy into the world and stopped waiting for the bad to happen?
That's kind of where the book takes the author. She was skeptical of "wishing" for things, but through the course of her friendships with some interesting people, decided what the hell, might as well (or as Monica said recently, "fuck it in a bucket.") Oxenhandler wished for a man, a house, and her soul. The book follows her wishes over the course of one year.
Lesson: What you put out into the universe comes back to you. Good or bad. Why not focus on the good?
I've always gotten everything I wanted - and I do mean everything* J. It was just a matter of setting my mind to something and relentlessly pursuing my goal. No negative self-talk involved, no worrying about failure, just sheer determination and viola! Goal reached. It's kind of like a game for me. A test to see how far I can go and what I'm really capable of.
*I am awesome and you are just awestruck.
For example, when I wanted desperately out of an old job, I took out a piece of binder paper and wrote 10 times, "I, Katie oldlastname, will find a fabulous job in Folsom." and carried that paper around for less than a month in the bottom of my purse, and then I found my current FABULOUS job. (That I must add to which I am really looking forward to returning).
Was it just the fact that I "put it out into the universe"?
Was it because it gave me a goal to focus on?
Was it because I invested positive energy into myself?
Whatever it was, my outlook has changed. Only positive. Yes, there are rough nights - just because I'm positive doesn't mean there isn't a wicked strong darkside to me, it just means I choose to not spend my time and energy there. I'll acknowledge it and move forward.
As for what to wish for...
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